Saturday, 28 December 2013

The Art of Hypocrisy

There was a time, not so long ago, when a little known British comedian called Ricky Gervais was actually quite funny. His acutely observed and brilliantly executed comedic inventions that poked fun at the type of hapless, ignorant and generally rather unpleasant sorts you would encounter in the real world has made him quite the master of this type of comedy. David Brent from 'The Office' is his masterpiece. He is an irritating fuck: vain, pretentious, intellectually limited and utterly oblivious to his own limitations and the contempt that he engenders in those around him.

Speaking of irritating fucks, allow me to re-introduce you to one of the most irritating fucks you will ever have the misfortune to encounter, Mr Art Andrews (his friends call him 'Cunt').  This douchebag is possibly the dumbest fucking cunt ever to walk the face of this planet. This self styled overlord of multi genre fandom has single-handedly managed to royally fuck up and fragment a hitherto rather united and friendly bunch of like minded fans and collectors and replaced it with a bunch of kids running around in foam costumes.

His main claim to fame is The RPF, a cesspool of fucktards, moderated by cunts and controlled by King Cunt himself. Having alienated the real pro's, the big collectors and the knowledgeable movers and shakers within the prop world what we have left are idiot children playing hooky from remedial school, third string cosplayers in Made-In-China Ebay costumes, sycophants and Adam Savage. Hardly the winning recipe for a credible business is it? Anyone who could have added credibility to the forum has long departed: either the victim of one of Artis' arbitrary bannings or have fucked off on their own accord to sunnier climes in disgust over Artis' rather psychotic moderation policies.

To give you an example rather close to home, I present you with the following:

For the past 5 years I have been banned from The RPF. I am not allowed to be mentioned, alluded to, hinted at by name, reputation or even have pictures of my products without attribution posted. Hell, even a pic that contains one of my products in the background is reason enough for a ban. Even the letters 'C' and 'T' are not allowed to be used (ok, I was joking about the last part but it's not outside the realms of possibility; stranger things have happened)

You wonder what he's afraid of? I admit, I'm a pretty scary dude but on a good day I'm actually quite mercurial and reasonably pleasant. The lunacy of the situation is bordering on the surreal. Consider this if you will: you have a forum that is called the Replica Prop Forum. But you're not allowed to talk about the producer of some of the best props around. How does that work? Beats the fuck out of me. The irony is that I have made hero props for some of the biggest films in the past two years yet they are allowed to be freely discussed. However, if Art were to ban these threads, there will be nothing left to discuss. These spineless chickenshits need to grow a pair as the only message they are sending out is that they are crapping their pants if I so much as even breathe in their general direction. Personally, I don't care if they villify me. I'm a big boy and it will take more than a bunch of brainwashed dickcheeses to bother me, but when they start victimising and harassing my friends and customers, I get pissed.

Art Andrews has become everyone's problem in the prop world. He's a cancer that is eating away at the bedrock of fandom. Whenever a power hungry simpleton like Art achieves even a modicum of success, he starts to think he's Jesus and that is when free speech, free expression and freedom of thought become a page note in his book of masturbation. Personally, I would not trust Art to organise a gang rape on an Indian bus. His ineptitude is the stuff of legend. This is the fucking moron who shot himself in the leg with his own gun whilst cleaning it. This is the fucktard who, along with that boned headed goon Gino, dumped 10 kilos of silicone over a priceless screen used Fett helmet. This psychopathic knobgobbler surrounds himself with professional retards because it's the only way he can muster the collective braincells to work a computer. He even married a dozy heifer who walked onto a plane with a loaded gun, post 9/11.  He is a joke. A laughing stock. No one takes him seriously and those that do were probably lobotomized at a young age. His name is a byword for shoddy gun handling, bad personal hygiene and ridiculous clit tickler facial fungus. Look at him and tell me that God doesn't write funnier gags than Bill Hicks?

Proof, if proof were needed, of the hypocrisy and complete lack of self awareness that this cuntflap exhibits can be found on his own Facebook wall where he recently posted this gem, this beauty, this gold nugget of comedic genius:

"I received a number of PM's yesterday from people saying they wanted to join in the conversation but were afraid to post their remarks publicly. This really makes me sad. We live in a world that claims we are all equal and there should be tolerance for everyone's views... but clearly that is not the case. If you are one of those who doesn't feel you can speak your mind, I would be interested in hearing why not? Do you fear reprisal and being ostracized? Do you not think others would be accepting and tolerant of your beliefs? For those who DO feel comfortable responding to hot topics, like yesterday's debate which included Biblical beliefs and discussions regarding homosexuality, why aren't you afraid? Do you just not care what others think? Are you not worried about reprisal? I am very interested to know what separates those who feel they can't speak their mind from those who feel they can."

My initial reaction went from disbelief, to shock, to sidesplitting laughter. The complete obliviousness to the hypocrisy this cunt displays defies explanation. This was something that even David Brent would find hard to do. In case some of you don't get it, let me put it in simple terms. This is the turd who has systematically suppressed free speech through censorship, fear and intimidation on his own forums. He has banned people for even talking to someone who he feels threatened by. His bannings are arbitrary, his intellectual functioning is non existent and his testicular matter is minimal. If you aspire to be a cult leader, that puts you at an immediate disadvantage. How can he expect to gain, let alone keep, the respect of his devotees when he is patently an incompetent imbecile?

One of my customers and Twitter followers posted the following in response on Artis' Facebook page:

Little I can add to this except "Bravo". Now Artis has painted himself into little corner. He can ignore it and keep the comment up there, in which case his hypocrisy is there for all to see. He could remove it. Which would prove that he is the virulent little pustule we all know he is. Either way, he loses. NEWSFLASH: Since speaking his mind, Artis has BLOCKED Shawn on Facebook. Proof again, that this brainless little cockknuckle has all the intelligence of a skidmark and answered his own question. The lesson today comes from the Gospel of St CT: Never ask a question if you don't like the answer. What a stroke.....

Speaking of censorship, he recently had a pop at Facebook for censoring and banning his band of retards for posting objectionable pics.

Whoah, hang on there. You mean Artis just got a taste of his own medicine? It's ok for him to ban people for NOTHING yet Facebook are jackasses for doing the same unto him? Well...karma's a bitch right Art?

As of today, I urge every one of you who still remains a member of the RPF to reclaim your mind, reclaim your self respect and reclaim your right to think for yourself instead of wallowing in the scummy mire of Art Andrews' hypocrisy. Get out of the cesspool, and tell Art he does not control who you associate with, who you buy from and whose party line you have to tow. Tell him to fuck off, tell him that you refuse to associate yourselves with a business where fear, intimidation and brainwashing are used to control you into being a commodity that pads out the bottom line of a fucktard who cannot even strip a gun without shooting himself.

The RPF is a sinking ship. It's not longer a resource to be valued, rather a place to point at the brainless peasants and laugh. I urge you all to boycott this clusterfuck of a forum and let the dogs suck the marrow out of it. Art deserves nothing less than to be King of a crumbling castle. You can either watch from the sidelines smugly or you can forever be part of the legacy of woe that Art will leave. Choose wisely my friends.

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